Banker By Day Rock Star By Night
Sun Herald
Sunday May 23, 2004
They've traded suits and ties for animal-print jackets and guitar-hero poses. But are these corporate rockers about to give up their day jobs?
Are you ready to rock?" A singer struts across the stage, the crowd roars its response and a drummer starts tapping out a beat. From a thick fog of machine-made smoke, a guitarist emerges to rip out a lead break. A pair of lithe blondes run to the foot of the stage and start bopping about.
Just another Saturday-night rock concert? Not quite. Apart from the small crowd of dancers, the floor of the arena is not a seething mass of humanity. Instead, diners are seated around tables, scoffing Atlantic salmon and quaffing fine wine. This is not your usual rock'n'roll crowd; it's older, richer and clad in suits and evening dresses for a start.
Welcome to the Telstra Corporate Battle of the Bands. Each of tonight's bands playing at the Sydney Entertainment Centre is made up of workmates from a single company and each band must include at least one senior executive.
The audience - both the dancing blondes and the seated silverhairs - is made up of the band members' bosses and coworkers. Company bigwigs are seated at the $275-a-head tables; those on the lower rungs of the corporate ladder fill out the cheap seats at the back of the hall.
It's all being done in the name of charity - Alzheimer's Australia is the beneficiary of tonight's gig (to the tune of $200,000). Seven groups have stumped up the $10,000 entry fee to take part tonight, with the musicians coming from all over Australia. In fact, more than 200 staffers applied for Telstra's band, the Strolling Phones (bad puns in the name are de rigueur), and the final line-up includes three players from NSW and three from Victoria. This sort of event - a rival to the original Corporate Countdown - is a new addition to the corporate calendar but has proved popular among the suits.
Jon Ryan, a guitarist with the Johnson & Johnson band, No More Tears, is enjoying every minute. "The red carpet, the limo ride, the photo sessions, it's just fantastic," he enthuses. "And playing a venue this big with a professional crew - it's outstanding."
Most of tonight's guitar-slinging salarymen say they'd give up the security of their corporate gigs for a shot at stardom. "Oh, definitely," says Ryan, national marketing manager for Johnson & Johnson subsidiary Janssen-Cilag, before adding, "Is my boss going to hear this?"
The idea of switching careers is not as far-fetched as it sounds. Westfield's David Lowy did just that after playing in a corporate band comp last year and is now touring the country with Doc Neeson's Angels. Of course, it helps if your dad's a billionaire.
If the front of the house is The Office, backstage it's Spinal Tap as musos wander around plucking guitars, sipping beer, exchanging Lleyton Hewitt-style c'mons or just looking intense in a corner.
Most have played in pub bands and the like and some are quite accomplished. Brian Hamilton, a systems support manager and band leader of the Strolling Phones, has played with everyone who ever appeared on Countdown: "Air Supply, Renee Geyer, Jon English, Sharon O'Neill, Peter Couples, Mark Hunter, James Reyne..."
The highlight of Stephen Marsh's singing career before tonight was coming third in a band competition in the 1970s. "We got to back up Sherbet," says Kimberly-Clark's general manager of consumer sales and the lead singer of Pulp It Up KC. Since then he's confined his singing to "the odd karaoke gig". "I've got a day job to look after so I can't get too carried away."
Pulp It Up KC have only been together six weeks but give one of the night's best performances. They look and sound like an 80s supergroup made up of the less recognisable members of Aussie Crawl, Uncanny X-men and Divinyls. They get the best crowd response of the night - and not just because Kimberly-Clark has shelled out for more tables than anyone else.
Another band to stand out are the Negotiators, representing financial services outfit Prebon Yamane.
"I reckon we're younger by a decade than the other bands and better looking," says drummer Brad Howell, who looks way too young to be a Prebon Yamane director. The Negotiators are tighter than the other acts as well as being harder and faster - possibly a consequence of all working closely together. "We sit about 10 feet apart in an aggressive work environment," says Howell. "There's lots of shouting on phones."
After watching the Prebon Yamane boys play, one can grudgingly accept testosterone-fuelled money-market dealers as rock'n'rollers. But bankers? If, as someone once said, "There is a little bit of Elvis in everyone," then there's a little bit less in bankers than everyone else. The Macquarie Bank band, the Financial Instruments, may rank a little higher on the Elvis-o-meter than their fellow bankers - they do a passable take on Mustang Sally and guitarist and Mac Bank deputy managing director Richard Sheppard pulls a few good guitar-hero poses - but, sorry guys, you can't rock out in chinos.
Strangely, none of the judges points out this rock-star faux pas, although it's hard to tell exactly what the judging panel is thinking. Each performance draws a similar response: rock journalist Glenn A. Baker makes a joke that shows off his encyclopedic knowledge of rock history; ex-Ramones drummer Marky Ramone tells the band they "done good, played tight"; and TV starlet Toni Pearen says the singer is cute.
In the end, Pulp It Up KC are declared winners, earning the right to represent Australia at the International Corporate Battle of the Bands at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio, in October. The Strolling Phones are runners-up and the Negotiators come in third.
Despite the win, Pulp It Up KC frontman Stephen Marsh is the only person I speak to who says he wouldn't give up his corporate gig for a chance at rock'n'roll fame. "Nah," he says. "There's no security. It'd have to be a bloody good contract."
All of the bands who played in the Corporate Battle of the Bands will be appearing at The Basement, Sydney, on Wednesday and at the James Squire Brew House, King Street Wharf, on June 2, with proceeds going to Alzheimer's Australia.
© 2004 Sun Herald